Sometimes, there is absolutely no shutting off your brain. It could have been a day on which one has been run to the ground completely - with your baby not being well, or a recipe made for special guests going horribly wrong or a simple day with a simple discussion ending up in a firing argument, or a physically exhausting day with arranging furniture or a really lazy day that made you feel guilty - but at the end of it you find youself in a state of absolute exhaustion that refuses to lead itself to sleep. On such nights, I think the brain decides to over compensate and starts spreading those web of thoughts that are often useless, sometimes nostalgic and very rarely profound. Of course, your brain usually convinces you that every single such thought is profound. It is only when you look back do you realize that one's brain is a conniving dog that pretends to be a puppy: a really cute puppy with giant puppy eyes.
A sample:
Did she really do something like that? How could she cheat on her husband like that? And how could x (who told me about it) still actually maintain a personal relationship with the said marital impostor? But then, what will x do? Sometimes, you tend to forgive people because you love them despite everything. But it's not just that impostor's mistakes, her husband is no less. Isn't it really sad, the kind of life you get to live when you do not give yourself wholly into a marriage? After all, when you don't give yourself completely, you assume the other hasn't as well. Why the hell am I thinking about them now? There are better things to do...hmm...anyway, it goes on to prove that all marriages are same- it could have been an arranged marriage or a self decided one, ultimately life in a marriage is so totally not what you expect or prepare yourself for. If you don't adapt, compromise and still manage to be yourself; however it began, it will definitely deteriorate. In a way, may be arranged marriages are far superior, after all you are prepared for such things. Then again, remember y? She went ahead with such a beautiful arranged marriage, only to end up being married to a psychopath and had to divorce him, so may be only love marriages will work in future. But then, z had a love marriage which failed. Why am I thinking about it? I should just be happy and content with the fact that I have a husband who loves me for myself. Isn't that simply awesome? Oh, I need to get that gift which I planned? Oh god, why is it so difficult to get gifts for men? Uhm, was that a sexist statement that I just thought? Can it be called "sexist" when a woman thinks it? May be there is another word for it, I should look it up tomorrow. Hey, of course woman can make sexist statement, after all there are so many women around who are male chauvinistic. Oh how R asked me so innocently, "He has raped her anyway, shouldn't she be happy that he is offering to marry her?" God, how could she ask that? And its been almost six years since she said that but it feels like yesterday. Oh what is it that we teach our children that can make a girl ask this question? Something is wrong in our system...what system? We are the system, aren't we?
Whew...
And if you thought it took me the same time to type out my thoughts and to actually think them, think again!
Really, somebody just leak my thoughts a little bit so that I can sleep!
Oh, now that it is out, I feel sleepy, or may be it is the sheer exhaustion of typing. But, such exhaustion usually doesn't put me to sleep, argh forget it! At least I should be happy that I had some profound thoughts... Wha...What did I just think?!!
A sample:
Did she really do something like that? How could she cheat on her husband like that? And how could x (who told me about it) still actually maintain a personal relationship with the said marital impostor? But then, what will x do? Sometimes, you tend to forgive people because you love them despite everything. But it's not just that impostor's mistakes, her husband is no less. Isn't it really sad, the kind of life you get to live when you do not give yourself wholly into a marriage? After all, when you don't give yourself completely, you assume the other hasn't as well. Why the hell am I thinking about them now? There are better things to do...hmm...anyway, it goes on to prove that all marriages are same- it could have been an arranged marriage or a self decided one, ultimately life in a marriage is so totally not what you expect or prepare yourself for. If you don't adapt, compromise and still manage to be yourself; however it began, it will definitely deteriorate. In a way, may be arranged marriages are far superior, after all you are prepared for such things. Then again, remember y? She went ahead with such a beautiful arranged marriage, only to end up being married to a psychopath and had to divorce him, so may be only love marriages will work in future. But then, z had a love marriage which failed. Why am I thinking about it? I should just be happy and content with the fact that I have a husband who loves me for myself. Isn't that simply awesome? Oh, I need to get that gift which I planned? Oh god, why is it so difficult to get gifts for men? Uhm, was that a sexist statement that I just thought? Can it be called "sexist" when a woman thinks it? May be there is another word for it, I should look it up tomorrow. Hey, of course woman can make sexist statement, after all there are so many women around who are male chauvinistic. Oh how R asked me so innocently, "He has raped her anyway, shouldn't she be happy that he is offering to marry her?" God, how could she ask that? And its been almost six years since she said that but it feels like yesterday. Oh what is it that we teach our children that can make a girl ask this question? Something is wrong in our system...what system? We are the system, aren't we?
Whew...
And if you thought it took me the same time to type out my thoughts and to actually think them, think again!
Really, somebody just leak my thoughts a little bit so that I can sleep!
Oh, now that it is out, I feel sleepy, or may be it is the sheer exhaustion of typing. But, such exhaustion usually doesn't put me to sleep, argh forget it! At least I should be happy that I had some profound thoughts... Wha...What did I just think?!!
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